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Minute Madness started the whole thing about Stargazer. It is she who is to blame for bringing me down this road. 

And so it continues here:

“But I like Stargazer,” Nicky hesitantly ventures. “I think it’s…pretty.”

“Bleh. Stargazers are for sissies. And sissies, for one, should all die.” Stargazer stomps her foot down hard onto the wary floor and imagines in her tiny cranky head how the seams of the earth crack little by little every time she kicks up a fuss. 

Nicky, at loss for a moment, suddenly weaves back into reality and tries to muster up an intelligent opinion, for once. “Uhm…but if everyone chooses to die just because they don’t like their names…don’t you think the world would be full of dead people then?”

Stargazer lets out a mighty cackle. “Well, well, look at you. Trying to be all grown up with your phileesoficale comments…” and then she stops short, not knowing what else to say to her little friend, or any friend for that matter. I mean, how would one answer to that sort of question?

Nicky’s eyes dart from side to side. Even she doesn’t know what answer to expect. And so she changes the topic: “So…uhm…what would you prefer to be called then?”

To be continued…

It’s as easy to disappear as it is to reappear. Time has not gone faster and yet, I find it passing me by like clouds on a windy afternoon. 

Lately I’ve found that my dreams seem to be telling me something. They’re more waking dreams than nightmares. I dream about the everyday, the yesterday and sometimes, the week after. Weird, yes. Out of the ordinary? Not quite so. 

I find no reason to blame the classes for it. They have been inspiring, if not somewhat rejuvenating for my experience. Like a giggly schoolgirl all over again, I’m glad that I actually feel excited the night before every session.

I like it that it’s early.

I like it that I’ve almost never woken up this early before on a Sunday.

I like it that I’m getting acquainted with the little China Town that’s just 15km away.

I like the people in the class because I have yet to know anything about them – curiosity is a strong addiction.

I like it that I’m getting a second chance in life, to rethink my world, to renew my courage with my conscience. 

The struggle before had not been easy but I must say now that I was just too worried for my own good. 

Perhaps I was born to be one, but it doesn’t mean that I share all of their views. 

I am one, but I am also many, as was mentioned. 

I seem to relate better to the things I never gave another hoot about, and that completes me a little bit more. 

Of course, I’ve still been feeling jaded and whiny and all cranky for days on end. But it sure a relief to know that I am never alone, and that there are people out there who don’t know everything too. 

It’s not a crime to skip a few papers in a month. 

It’s not wrong to rename an Oscar-winning Hollywood actor. 

It’s okay to read comics and all kinds of no-brainer periodicals, because that’s where you grow the most in. 

It’s not easy, learning to let go. To shut that haunting tune out. And to leave memories as just memories. 

We all want to fall in love, have a great job, hopefully a good Boss, a fat salary, a loving husband, wonderful kids and now and then, reasonable new set of parents. Even if we only strike it rich with one, isn’t that fair all the same? 

To be thankful takes up a lot of strength on our pride. At the end of the day, we complain more than we compliment the world for the good job it has done to set us free. 

I’ve always thought that we only have one life to do it right. But the actual fact is, we’re livelier than the 9 lives of a kitty.

Everyday a small part of us dies. And yet, there’s enough will in us to cover this hole, this void and push us forward to another Tuesday, or Thursday or a public holiday that falls on a Saturday.

Tell me, where did all the youth go? Where is fun hiding now? Why do we leave it behind on a rollercoaster ride or a cotton candy stick? Why can’t we keep it in our pockets or sleeves and whip it out when we need a whiff of reality? 

Hard to grasp, but something painfully true – we’re born to be ungrateful. 

Or call us ’sinners with a cause’, if you like.