You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July 2008.
A little more than a month, and I’ve already grown attached to him. Having to readjust for the past few days, I can’t believe how much I miss him. Everything about him, pieces together what little identity I have left.
I’ve always been protective over the things I own. Watching it catch the rainiest days of the season chisels away at my heart.
I don’t want to hurt you. I only want you near. In your arms, is where I let go.
From the first day I took this path, I gave up the child in me that begged to stay. Like the last piece of jigsaw that solves the puzzle, but ends the game all the same.
Now’s not the time to look towards guidance. You are your own guide. Because they don’t know who you are or what you want. I’ve hushed those flowers up into the attic. And no, they no need dust jackets. Leaving them behind, may not be so bad after all.
Close your eyes,
Don’t you cry.
Let the sorrow within you subside.
Don’t despair,
Have no fear.
Give your weight to me when you hear this lullaby.
Emmy Rossum ~ Lullaby
They say we should try to be kinder than usual to anyone we meet, because everyone is fighting their own difficult battle. The light goes out at night, but fate never really leaves.
You can only do so much at once. Turning on the shower full steam ahead will only get you wet, and sometimes cold. Curtains and towels and tiles won’t help.
I tried taking a step back. Re-evaluating life, love, living, loving. And it worked.
Last night, I knew why making an appearance that night turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made.
I will not stop believing.
There is hope after all.
They always say, you won’t know until it happens to you.
Up until today, I still don’t know what happened. There is no good reason for it. No explanation that can take the pain away. We can only hope that one day we’ll forget how painful memories can become.
There is nothing scarier than something that can never be replaced. He is not living 30 minutes away from you. He is not half way around the world. He is somewhere, where he can never return to you again.
You can never leave him a voicemail, to tell him how much you want to see him. You can never hear his voice again, because it now lives only inside your head.
As I watch a holiday trip transform into a tragic nightmare, I can only hide beneath the shell that was born overnight.
It’s difficult but we’re trying. We only have each other now.
