You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2007.
Like you never really lost that part of your life at all.
In hibernation, till you meet the open ends of the cave. It wasn’t impossible for the butterfly to rise without light. She thought the colours had faded. Only spots, only speckles.
But the shades will return. It has begun to form, and there’s no stopping this change. At least, she doesn’t want to. It’s doing good, it’s doing good. Slowly, but surely.
This game of life, I’m still zooming on my bike. The lights off the highway, the cars that pass me by. Hill’s right up ahead, they say.
I can already see it, I say.
You thought things were real then. You really did. You thought love was present, you thought it was enough. You tired yourself out from the effort, because you thought it could wipe out the pain.
But love is this. This is it. Perhaps it was who you were that made me hold on. Holding on to a semblance of you. Sometimes it returns, like it did the last few times. But it is fleeting.
Now, more than ever, I have come to realise what a relationship is. You never have to think twice about feelings like this. No guilt, never an ounce of fear. Never tired, not afraid of overkill.
It’s been so long since I got caught up in this race for something better. I never thought I’d see this again.
This bitter aftertaste, I still know of its existence. I need time to swallow this fear, that you’ve shaped me into a ghost of myself. 2190 days of wrong directions, leaving me for dead without even a goodbye.
The opposite of love isn’t hate. But hate is the demise of it. I still haven’t fully regained my own trust. How could I have been so wrong? The signs still nip at me every now and then.
My favourite time of the year is here. Surely, I did something good to deserve this, despite it all. Thank you dear God. Thank you.
Just when you think you know life, nothing turns out real.
The thing you trust will go away. Instead, the strange becomes what you hold on to.
I can hear beyond that voice. A certain warmth that I long to hear every night. In the morning, I can’t wait to see what you’ve saved for me.
Novelty? Maybe.
Casualty? I hope not.
Things grow cold over time. The turkey, once out from the oven can never remain sizzling hot. But who’s to say temperature won’t make it taste just as good? We have different preferences anyway. Today, tomorrow, everyday is a new adventure.
I’m finding comfort, without hesitation. I feel better having you around, knowing that you don’t know enough, yet you still care.
I admire your subtle honesty. We both know. We both do.
Different, this feels. No big rush. No sleepless nights.
The one thing I’ve been smiling about, is how comforted I am with your thoughts. Or rather, thoughts of you.
No one will really know what goes on inside. I can flip like a coin and turn my tastebuds 360 degrees a few times over. To save the hassle, no more casualties, I have silently vowed for this break. Come what May.
It’s funny, how I always say I’m no good with the cellular. But I’m comfortable enough to reel this in. Like I have so much to share and there’s only you to listen.
You’re dangerous.
I admit that I am. But this is the challenge isn’t it? This is the essence of that novelty you were talking about. Curiosity, as always, will lead you to discover. Good or bad, don’t give away the end.
Distraction. Perfect timing. But I sincerely hope this is not all there is. I’m growing older by the day, and I want to get it right or at least walk without regrets.
It is people like you that makes me go after the moon.
Only appearing at night, it is no difficult feat if you’re not too far away.
And everything (all that I knew)
That I said I’d do (promises again)
Like make the world brand new (giving me hope)
And take the time for you (that you’d change)
I just got lost (excuses)
And slept right through the dawn (another day gone)
And the world spins madly on (life moves on)
Sunday afternoon. Before we lose hope. There comes a time when we look back and think, how do we take this leap?
And then jump.
Oh, the irony of it all.
Be still, we should have known.
Drawing more circles, round and round, out and about and finally into yours. I will not fail this one, as I’ve failed another. The price is heavy, even if I know nothing of it now.
I welcome this change. This hope. It’s not making any sound of its own. I can hear its distance, falling into my pathway. Before the winter chill sweeps it into the skies above, I will take off my hat, and offer a place for this leaf to hide.
Others have done the same for me. But I am not one to take shelter.
I enjoy singing with my own voice. And dancing in my own eyes. Nobody will hear these silent tears, as they are not meant to make a sound.
These sad eyes, they have not seen the world yet. Not halfway there, not ever. They are only sad in yours, because yours reflect the same.
Alice, I’ve always been fascinated by her world. Or what they call, her wonderland. Young as she was, she knew the importance of fantasy, striving in her own way to weave them into her dreams that paradoxically woke her up from reality. I have one of her now. Perhaps it’ll remind me of this strange beauty, innocence still intact without a scar.
At least, not one that you can see.
In silence, we disappear. Cease to exist, even. There is no point for you to return, when your intentions are clear to stay mum on all that you do.
Silence can be torturous. No doubt, it can help me make better decisions, letting me feel at least for a moment that I have become wiser.
Silence leaves me alone, letting me wallow in my thoughts of fear and shine. It is not cruel, it is rather kind. Space requested, space given.
Those faces, silent as they are, speak more volumes than those who sat at the table last night. They share a secret, harbouring a mystery that would distress the magic once broken.
I couldn’t help but turn away when you turned to me. I didn’t ask, so you shouldn’t start. My silent face will surely be enough to keep you away.
Silence, what does it mean? That you don’t wish to be disturbed? A burden to speak? Standing still? Or leaving me behind?
It is not golden. Never was it the colour of gold. It is black, and sometimes white. It is a tool, when wielded at the right moment.
Now, I am withdrawing my sword. Taking a step back. Extending my hand for peace, and a shake. The skies have cleared. My rainbow is finally making it’s entrance. Rain no longer exists. But there are thoughts of it still, reminding me of this battle that I conquered.
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you.
God bless the silence in all of us.
