You are currently browsing the monthly archive for June 2007.
Slurping down my favourite Assam Laksa, I can only think of you.
When will I see you again?
No, I’m not over it.
It takes only a second to remember. But you know, a lifetime to forget.
You colour my world bright, when the sunlight’s gone out.
You’ve been missing. But you just have to reappear, to make it all go away.
It’s like throwing that fish you learned so hard to catch, back into the deep, emerald waters.
It’s not easy to do. Not when the hook’s still on your lips.
Everything I touch, I shape it into mine.
I miss you.
And I want to say that I love you. Because I’m me.
I have made a pact to sleep in 0002 mins and yet I have to blog something!
It’s been forever since I’ve seen you, Ms WordPress and I miss you so.
Today has been a good day. Finding my foothold on something at least.
Neither here nor there is not such a bad thing after all.
It gives me time to breathe. To play a little.
With a million thoughts running through my head, I turn to dreams for that melody I seek.
I looked to my left and I saw confusion. When I thought I was the only one terribly confused. Ahhh, what a life for me.
As Pey puts it life is good.
So it is, my dear friend. So it is.
I wake up with this heavy trepidation. As this song courses through me, I can’t help but sing along to it.
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there’s no one else to blame
A melancholic weekend. I am reaching out, to see who will receive me.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I’m needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
I am not crazy. Just a lil’ lonely. Thinking about things I should forget. And I made the mistake of keeping these 2 days free and easy.
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found
Yeah, I think I might break
I’ve lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Indeed, it is only love.
It is only love that can break a human being and turn him inside out.
Sometimes I wonder, what is it about staying at home that makes it all so depressing. I still haven’t learnt the art of being lonely.
And when I add emotions to the equation, I know I’ve just got to stop myself.
In a vulnerable state, is what I’m in.
Time passes by easier like this.
And I can’t help but agree with her. I know it’s crazy, but it’s a phase we just have to get out of our system. It may take as long as it takes. Because this hurt, this loneliness is unexplainable. When you think it’s left your soul, when you think it’s gone, that’s when it knows to come back and haunt you for nights on end.
Out of sight, out of mind. But when I’m still on the lookout, perhaps I’m gearing myself up for heartbreak, a heavy heart, whatever.
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know. So now I’m all alone.
There’s no question, how to deal with this problem of mine. If staying at home makes me a lil’ depressed, out of it I shall be.
As I’m still catching up on a way to fix my short attention span, reading a book on a couch that’s not mine is still a bore. Ho hum. Or maybe I picked the wrong book. But I still believe that we have to sort through the boring, the stand stills, the yawnyawns to find the gem hidden in between the lines. Nobody’s going to hand it to you right before your very eyes. Unless of course, you’re a kid reading that favourite Strawberry Shortcake tale of yours.
I still get embarassed sometimes, when I have to ask for help. But I know now, that if I don’t carry my voice, nobody will know that I needed something in the first place. And nobody really takes obligation that seriously. They won’t invite you out just because you asked. I think people do want you around now and then, except when they super can’t stand you in which they wouldn’t want to spend time with you anyway. So no sweat there.
I am simply unproductive at home. But my music, I love em’!
If I don’t say this now, I will surely break.
I know now, what I had been searching for all along. A confirmation, that I was out of his life. For sure.
It’s been over for some time now. But it still affects me.
6 years, is a long time.
I don’t sleep, because there are those unanswered questions in my life.
I say the time is today. Now. Live in the moment.
The things you say, what do they mean?
Sometimes, I want to know what you want from me. But as life would have it, only time will tell.
A good time to give my heart a lil’ space and time.
More than I would like to admit, I have this urge to talk to people. To get to know what they are like. Perhaps, to form a basis for friendship.
I’m trying to believe that everyone deserves a chance. Until of course, they get drunk and pass your number to a friend who can’t stop calling or messaging you at 2 in the morning.
Ordinary, I am. But maybe you’re looking for ordinary.
Thank you, and you and you for being my saviour. When times got rough, thinking of all of you made me get up to see the world.
I’m still searching for those ruby slippers that I want. It didn’t quite fit me yet, when I chanced upon it. So maybe the time has not come. Patiently, I will wait for the true pair. No sense in getting one that doesn’t belong to you, just because you desire to own it.
I have you?
Yes you do.
Lime ice cream is baaaaaaaaad.
Listening to those beats, man they’ve given me a headache. I need my music!
I seriously cannot understand how people can like NOISE. Just a bunch of noise jumbled together, and they call it crappy beats.
But I’ve gotta hand it to ya. You do know what I like.
I couldn’t sleep last night. I had started a new chapter in my life called The Awakening. That’s when I stay awake half the night, playing out ridiculous scenes in my mind to keep myself smiling in bed. And shamefully, I carry them out into reality the very next day.
For now, I’ll have to keep my full focus on the work ahead. Since I’m not allowed to have any form of interactive activities with anyone other than those few around. Heh. But I seem to be enjoying this productivity.
Like I said, they sleep but I dream.
Man I’m beat.
I was sleepy yesterday but today, ahh I just feel like chilling out.
My mind may be playing tricks on me. My eyes too. I
thought it’d never come, but it did. I don’t know what it means.
Perhaps, just that they have me in their hearts.
It was unbelievable. I thought I was hearing things. I couldn’t believe he even asked.
Luckily though, I always knew in my heart that I’ll always choose to stay untainted.
I’m not that kind. And I don’t have to remind myself that I’m not.
But don’t laugh at me, if tomorrow I become one of them. Nobody knows what’s around the corner.
We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. Does that mean we should live life to the fullest?
That’s not what I was getting at but yeah, that’s part of it. More so that we shouldn’t spend so much of our time worrying about how to solve the problems that we have.
Not running away. Just keeping it cool. When you can’t find the answers, working harder won’t make them turn up still. Give it a little time.
Clarity. Peace. Serenity.
Perhaps, some answers are not meant to be found, or understood even.
It’ll only torture our already tortured souls. Some things, there are just no explanations for it. It just happens. Happenstance or not.
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I
We’ve got straightening out to do
And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses that blanket
But I’ve got to get a move on with my life
It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry
There is no excuse to be greedy. Just because you don’t know where you’re heading to the next minute isn’t a good enough excuse to do the things that normal people despise.
We’ve got to ask ourselves if that’s what we really want. For the pleasure of the moment, some things are just not worth it. Hell, if it doesn’t break someone’s heart or ruin someone’s life, by all means go for it. But the deadly, the addictions, the obsessions, now that’s in a whole different league by itself. I still think about why you’re gone and I’m still here.
A battle of the sexes indeed will never come out fair.
Men are just prone to these tendencies that are foreign to women.
As I laugh at myself for having a large head for such a small body, maybe God has some other intentions in mind. After all, a roomier head means more brains! Hurray!
Most of the time, I think I act like a bimbo so it does help when I stay sober and have a little fun acting drunk. Nobody takes advantage of Mei and I mean NOBODY! Only Mei taking advantage of them heh.
Amidst the dim lights and the ear-splitting music, I guess it is places like these that give everyone a chance of keeping in touch (pardon the pun) with their most humane need of human contact. Hands on shoulders. Lips on ears. That’s the only way to keep a conversation going. When everyone just wants to dance.
We’re not supposed to choose who our friends are. And right you are. You have given me an epiphany. Nobody has the right to do that.
We can be mean of course. But it’s not like girls to fall into the trap of first impressions.
Everybody deserves a chance. I shouldn’t write people off just like that. Since I’ll hate it if someone does that to me.
I never knew it before this, but friends are God’s gift to this world. They are some things that still stick around when you’ve thrown a hissy fit and yelled at the sun, moon and stars. Rarely, will you come across a friend who’ll say that she’s decided to stop seeing you, because you guys had nothing in common anymore. Unless of course, you stopped combing your hair, wearing make-up, buying skirts and breaking your back with 3-inch high heels. They’ve shown me a whole new world of being caring, without the element of suffocation. They’ll look out for me and protect me, but they also know to understand what my Yes and No means. They do not decide for me. They let me be. Because, that’s why they’re hanging out with me in the first place.
And yes you, you told me that this was a journey that I had to discover for myself. I thank you for sharing this secret with me, the secret for a better, more fulfilling life. I suppose you stumbled upon this path a while ago and have been so intoxicated by it that you’re in too deep now. You’ve never felt this way before, and you had a moment of truth. You had to spread this joy. Especially to the one closest to you. And you did. And I understand why now.I woke up from this dream that I was in for so many years now, only to find that I’m still 18 (ooh yeah) at heart. As if time stood still and waited for me. There’s still a month more to go before I turn 24. Birthdays hide surprises. And I hope I get a nice one this year!
I’m rather nervous about tomorrow. New job, new challenges. I think I’ll like what I’ll be doing. Just don’t know what to expect. Since I haven’t been in the working mood for the past 2 months! But one thing’s for sure. I can’t wait for the weekend to come again.
